(by Cocksure)

This old-school penile enhancement is just the thing for New Age men, prostate cancer survivors, masters of the universe, titans of industry – in fact anyone insecure about the size and/or power of his trouser ferret.
Women enjoy wearing them for novelty or as a practical joke during romantic interludes.
Gourds like these have been worn by the Dani and Yali people of Papua New Guinea for centuries. In legend, this ageless adornment defends the wearer against ghosts, who can enter the living through unprotected orifices.
The craftsfolk at Cocksure don’t guarantee protection from ghosts, but they warrant that their gourds are organically grown, traditionally styled and will not chafe or bind – if properly worn, that is. (Close, really close, extremely careful reading of instructions is highly recommended before trying on).
Will not interfere with peeing on trees during vision quests or manhood recovery weekends. Not for wear in sweat lodges or during conventional acts of love. Spot clean only.
Our Gourds are available in three sizes:

Mighty Sword

Perfectly Adequate

Little Willy

Little Willy-size Gourd will fit most women, though not exactly like a glove.


More mythopoeic gear from Cocksure: Here is everything you need to make sure your face successfully mediates the tensions between society, nature and the supernatural. May also be used to paint favorite sports team’s colors on self before behaving like rowdy idiot at games. Highly pigmented assortment includes dab-on cream, toner, lip rouge, powder and blood samples of several small animals. Convenient carrying case doesn’t look like makeup kit when closed.